Husband dying to live in the US

Dear Pastor,

I am a married woman and I read your column every day. My husband and I do not have children, but I have a daughter. Before my husband and I got married, my daughter's father supported her well.

My daughter was fortunate to go to the US, and she found a husband there.

My daughter encouraged me to come to live in the US, but my husband was not interested. Now he is retired and we can hardly manage to buy his medication, and now he is saying that he is sorry he did not take up the offer for us to go.

I told my daughter what he is saying and she said that things have changed. Her life is different now because her husband and herself have big bills to pay. Plus, my husband is ill so it would cost her too much to take care of him.

When I told my husband what my daughter said, he told me that he knew older people who have gone to live in the US with their children. I told him that these people that he is talking about are in good health, unlike him.

My daughter tries her best to send us money often so that we are not in need of anything. But suddenly this man is in my skin wanting to live in the US. I went to visit with my daughter four years ago.

My daughter wanted him to come too, but he said he was not interested. Now, he has changed his mind and wants to go and live there. Sometimes we have money and sometimes we don't.

But my husband was always trying to live beyond his means. Now that he doesn't have much money, he wants us to leave Jamaica. He is 75 years old and I am 66. Please advise me what to do.

R.L.

Dear R.L.,

You don't have anything to feel guilty about. When your daughter suggested that your husband and yourself should leave Jamaica to live in the US, your husband objected.

He did not want to leave Jamaica. But now he has changed and your daughter and her husband cannot accommodate you now. He refuses to accept that.

I am sorry to hear that he is not doing very well. But your daughter knows that he would be a big burden to her. Your daughter does not need to feel guilty about anything because she is not doing anything wrong.

She is trying her best to support both of you by sending you money as often as she can. Please, do not even mention his comments to her. You have a very good daughter.

Pastor