My wife fell asleep while we were having sex

Dear Pastor,

I am having a difficult time and I want you to give me your advice. I am a married man. My wife and I have four children together. We have a fairly good relationship.

We don't argue much but when it comes to sex, both of us have slowed down. My wife is 40 years old and I am 45. When I want to make love to her, she is always tired. I know that her work is very stressful, but I try my best to be reasonable. I help my wife with chores. I clean, wash and help her in the kitchen. I assist the children with their school work. She tells her friends that I am the best husband any woman could have, but I know something is wrong in the bedroom department. Sometimes if I am able to roll her over on her back, I start to do my thing and she starts to snore. I was not aware that this could happen when a man is trying to make love to his wife.

Pastor, there is a young girl who is living three houses away from us and I know that she likes me. I have tried my best not to become involved with her but with my wife's attitude now, how can it be wrong if I go after that young woman? One day I stopped to pick her up at the bus stop and I asked her why she was always staring at me and what did I have to give her. She did not hesitate to tell me that she only need a few dollars because she had to help her relatives with whom she was staying. I told her that I was married and she said that was not her problem. Sometimes I wonder if my wife is having an affair. She told me that she had enough sex that can keep her for the rest of her life. I told her I have not had enough. Pastor, I don't know what to do, please help me.

G.L.

Dear G.L.,

Let me beg you to please keep away from that young girl who is showing an interest in you. She will help to wreck the relationship that you are having at home with your wife. The relationship with your wife needs to be strengthened but if you become emotionally or sexually involved with this girl who needs money, your wife is likely to find out because she would have observed that you have changed. Please don't consider it strange because your wife fell asleep while you were trying to have sex with her. It could be an indication that she was really tired. I would hate to know that she thinks that the sex was boring. Perhaps all you wanted to do was please yourself. I don't know. You turned her over and started to do your thing. You did not do any foreplay. Don't misunderstand me sir, I am not defending your wife. Perhaps you were too anxious to insert your penis in her so you did not want to do any foreplay. In a counselling session sometime ago, a married woman told me that sometimes she is so turned off by her husband that she allowed him to do his thing while she fell asleep.

Pastor