Husband said that he is tired of me

Dear Pastor,

I am 43 years old and I have been married for eight years. I would not say that my marriage was perfect, but I have enjoyed my husband for the years we have been married.

Occasionally, my husband calls me miserable. I know I am miserable at times, but I like to know that everything is going right with us. A few weeks ago my husband and I had a fuss and I kept quarrelling about it and he told me to stop, but I continued. My husband took a couple pieces of clothes and his toothbrush and left the house. I thought it was a big joke, but when I did not see him return up to about midnight, I called his number and it rang without an answer. I could not sleep, so every half an hour I dialled his number and he eventually answered. I told him to come home, but he said I should not call him back, and he would return when he is ready because he is tired of me.

How could my husband be tired of me and I have been so faithful to him? I know women who have insulted their men, but I have never done so. I just like a house that is well kept and my husband has the tendency of leaving his shoes here and there and I have to pick up after him. When I talk and tell him what I don't like, he calls me miserable. When my husband came home, I told him that I was sorry for upsetting him, but that is not the way he should react. He said he did not want to hear anything from me and if I continue to talk, he would pack his bag permanently. He repeated that he is tired of me. I am wondering if my husband has seen another woman and he wants to have an affair with her.

I know I have not seen anybody who is better than my husband. Why can't we disagree from time to time but still remain together?

S.G.

Dear S.G.,

I suggest that the time has come for your husband and you to make an appointment to see a family counsellor or psychologist. I am sure that your husband does not mean that you should not talk, but he is saying that you are talking too much. In general, men don't like women who chat and chat. They consider that harassment. Some women like to chat, or want their men to chat even after they have had sex. At that time, the men want to sleep. You should learn when you can pick an argument, so to speak.

You must not take your man for granted. He told you that he would leave permanently if you continue to raise foolish arguments. Take him seriously. Call a family counsellor or a man or a sister who your husband respects and meet together for a talk on these matters. It will help the situation, I am sure.

Pastor