My girlfriend and I could be siblings

Dear Pastor,

I am a 21-year-old male and I have a girlfriend. She is loving, caring and understanding, and I love her very much.

We have been together for three years. We are regular readers of your column as we both find it interesting; my girlfriend and I always read it to each other. Even though we are in a long-distance relationship, things have been great, as we always make time for each other. About three years ago, there was a small misunderstanding between us and my father and mother-in-law had to make contact. My father and I have never really been close since I was a baby, because he never took care of me. Last year he visited me at work. We had a little chat and I found out he had an affair with my mother-in-law. I was shocked, as he once told me he knew her, but that was all. When I learnt of their affair, I told my girlfriend and she didn't take it well. She confronted her mother about it, but she denied knowing my father.

My father was always what they called a 'gyalis' and he never lied about those things. The reason I am writing to you is because I have done some background checks and found out that it might have been true, because my father always visited the community where my mother-in-law lived. Recently, my father visited me again and we talked. However, what he told me this time has changed my opinion about my mother-in-law. My father said that she called him and they talked for a while; he asked her if he could get 'some' and she told him whenever he was ready. However, my father said that he wouldn't do anything with her because he is a married man.

There is a more pressing issue. Whenever I show a few people a picture of my girlfriend, they always say that we look alike. So the big question is: could my girlfriend be my sister from the affair my father had with her mother? My girlfriend does not have a father's name on her birth certificate; however, she carries the name of the man who my mother-in-law has been with.

I write to you to get your advice, so please help me.

R.R.

Dear R.R.,

You have a right to be concerned. Your father is not just chatting nonsense.

He is trying to put you on your guard. What I mean is that he is trying to tell you that your girlfriend and you might be brother and sister. You must read between the lines. Why would your father tell you that your girlfriend's mother recently offered him sex? Can't you understand that he is telling you that she still loves him and is willing to go to bed with him whenever he wishes to do so?

Your girlfriend carries another's man name, but that does not mean much. So hear me young man, tell your girlfriend that you would love for her to do a DNA test. It should not be difficult for you to get a sample from your father. I am sure that you would feel so much better if you knew the truth. I assure you of my prayers. Let me know what progress you have made.

Pastor