Pastor confusing me about my husband

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old and I am dating a man who is 23. We are planning to get married next year.

We have been attending premarital counselling. Our pastor is in charge of the counselling. We were studying Ephesians 5:3, which states that the wife should have reverence for her husband.

Why should a woman revere her husband? The pastor says if a wife does not revere her husband, she is not a good wife. What does it mean to revere a man? If a woman should revere her husband, should he not also revere his wife? During our counselling session, I could see how pleased my fiance was. So, can you shed some light on this verse?

G

Dear G,

I thank you for your short letter. I am also very happy to know that you have a man in your life, and that both of you are planning to get married.

You are going for premarital counselling. There are other crucial scriptures that both of you should think about. For example, the Bible says that a man and his woman should subject themselves to each other. A man should not believe that his wife should only listen to him because he is the head of the house. He should also listen to her. In other words, they should listen to each other. God has given women great insights which men should not ignore.

But let us go back to the topic that you wrote about. The Bible is speaking here about the woman having respect for her husband. A woman should respect her husband, and he ought to respect her. If a man is always cursing and using foul language, he should not expect his wife to respect him. The Bible says that Sarah had great respect for her husband Abraham; so great was her respect for him that she called him Lord.

A man who is a good Christian doesn't have to hit the table or stomp his feet and shout, "I am the man of this house." His very presence would be felt in the house and his wife would revere him. She may call him Lord and treat him as the Lord of the house, and he may see her as queen and may call her queen, because that is really what she is.

Now that you are going through premarital counselling, take your instructions from the Bible. See your man as king - obey and respect him. I trust that he will see you as queen. No one can take his place, and no one can take your place in his life.

Pastor