Naked neighbour keeps putting on a show

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 and married. My husband and I live in an apartment and we can see everything that is going on in the apartment that is adjacent to us.

My husband brought something to my attention. He said he could see everything from the girl who lives next door. I asked him what he meant and he said when she goes to the bathroom and into her room, she is naked. She dries off and exposes herself. He said once when it happened, he suspected that she had seen him, but she didn't act as if she cared. Every evening when she comes home from work, she does the same thing, so he called my attention to it. I told him that he did not have to look at her. But she puts on a good show, so we started to look at this girl. She has a lovely shape and lovely body.

The girl realised that we were looking at her, so she started to half close the windows. One day when I was leaving for work, I saw her at her car and I told her that we can see everything that she was doing in her bedroom. She said that she realised that, but if my husband was satisfied with me, he wouldn't have to be looking at her. So she invited him to come and get her because he is not satisfied with me. I told her that it is wrong for her to be exposing herself and inviting my husband to come and get her. My husband told me that I should not have said anything to her, and I know that he would have taken up the invitation. If he goes to her once, he may like it and I may lose him.

Would you believe that after talking to the girl, she started to open the window even wider than before and stretch out her tongue whenever she saw us looking? This girl has no shame at all. She said that I am fortunate to have a man. She had one but he left her. Why did this girl continue to dry and lotion herself when she knows that we are seeing everything? Why did she stretch out her tongue as if she is inviting us over? I have been telling my husband that we should give up our apartment and he says he is not prepared to do so because the rent is not very expensive. I should close up our window and not look at the girl. Apart from stretching out her tongue and making the cheeky remarks to my husband that he should come over, we don't have any problem with her.

What do you think we can do?

A.R.

Dear A.R.,

You should not have continued to admire this girl when she is in her bedroom putting lotion on her body.

Perhaps this young woman is an exhibitionist. She became aware that both of you were watching her; it did not bother her at all. Perhaps she exposed herself even more because she realised that you and your man were enjoying what you saw her doing. Some people get kicks when they realise that others are looking at them in the nude.

If your husband and you did not enjoy what the girl was doing, you could have closed your window before she realised that she was being watched. When she stretched out her tongue to you, she was offering you and your man an invitation to visit her. I don't believe you want me to fully explain what it means when a girl stretches out her tongue to a man. If you don't know what it means, ask some of your girlfriends.

Your husband has told you that he is not going to leave where you all are living because the rent is reasonable. Be wise, young woman. Close up your window and enjoy privacy.

Pastor