Mom dreamt that my girlfriend was giving me ‘bun’

Dear Pastor,

I am a 34-year-old man. My father passed on, but my mother is still alive. She is very strong, but we have a helper to take care of the home and assist her.

This helper is in her 20s. My mother likes her very much. Since she started to work, my mother has been encouraging me to have a relationship with her. I have a girlfriend, but she went to America and met a man. The two weeks that she planned to stay have turned into two months. Now she is saying that she does not know when she is coming back. I feel hurt because I spent plenty of money on her. She did not do well in high school, so I paid for her to go to evening classes, and now she has enough subjects to go into nursing.

My mother told me recently that she had a dream and I should forget the girl. She said she dreamt that she saw the girl in bed with another man. I called her and asked her if she was having sex with the man she met in America and she said not yet. She wanted to know why I asked and I told her what my mother said. She said she knew that my mother did not like her. Whatever my mother dreams about always happens. I told her to come home and that I was giving her two more weeks. She said she is coming because she does not want to spoil her visa. But my mother is insisting that I should get involved with this young woman who is working for us.

This girl was not a live-in helper. Now my mother is encouraging her to sleep over because she wants the company. I know what my mother is doing. The girl is attractive, but I never thought that I would get involved with our helper. When she first came to work with us, she told us that she had a boyfriend. Suddenly, they are no longer together.

I have one sister and I told her some of the things our mother is doing and how she is encouraging the young lady to sleep here. I have never touched the young woman. I don't want to stop her from working here. My mother would be very upset.

What do you suggest I do? Should I fire her and when my girlfriend returns to Jamaica, let her stay her with my mother? The time has come for me to get married. I don't want to have two women in my life, so give me your advice.

A.B.

Dear A.B.,

You love your mother and you consider her to be a dreamer, and whatever she dreams about is true.

But you are a grown man and you should learn to make your own decisions. You shouldn't accept everything your mother tells you she saw in her dream. You have a girlfriend who has been away. Your mother has found the young woman who has been assisting her to be a lovely girl. She has been encouraging you to have a relationship with her. You don't have to follow your mother's advice. Your desire is to get married to the young woman who will soon return to Jamaica. Make that very clear to your mother and stick with your plans.

The question I would like to ask you is: why is your girlfriend spending so many weeks in America? You said that she met a man over there. Is the man the one keeping her there, and by that I mean, is he the one encouraging her to stay? You will know for sure if she does not return after the two-week deadline you have given her passed. Remember that if you were to become sexually involved with the woman who works at your mother's house, when your girlfriend returns, she would find out because she would see how close you are to this woman. She would be very unhappy.

So, do not give up on your girlfriend. Perhaps she is doing what most Jamaican women do when they go abroad - hustling for some American dollars - and return. Your mother should be careful not to get involved in your love life.

Pastor