Men took advantage of me and now I’m pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I am 30 years old and I am pregnant. I am crying as I write this letter because I don't know who got me pregnant.

I went to a party with two of my girlfriends and I was enjoying myself. I got into a group of men, who I did not know, and I was drinking. The party went on for a long time and I got drunk. I don't know what exactly happened, but when I woke up, most of the people at the party had left, including my girlfriends. I realised that I had been raped, and I could not find my phone; somebody took it. My friends told me that they were looking for me and could not find me, so they thought I left with one of the men I was drinking with. They did not know these guys.

Now I am pregnant and I don't know who got me pregnant. The people who organised the party said that there were many people there who they did not invite, so they can't help me to find these guys. I have two children and I did not want more. If I should see these guys again, I would not recognise them, because I was drunk. I am not accusing any of them of drugging me. I am just saying that I was out of control because I had too much to drink. I don't know how many of them had sex with me or what happened, but I know that these men had sex with me and got me pregnant.

When this sort of thing happens to a woman, do you think that it is wrong for her to have an abortion? When the child is born, how am I going to explain to him or her who is the father?

L.A.

Dear L.A.,

You were very careless with yourself. You went out with a couple of your girlfriends. You should not have separated yourself from them.

Apart from saying that you were drinking with these men, you don't know anything about them. I knew a young woman who used to boast how much she could hold her liquor. But not long after that she said that she went out to a party and got involved in drinking hard liquor. That night of 'holding her liquor', one of the guys had sex with her and impregnated her. The only good thing about that night for her is that he didn't pass her on to other men. But she couldn't control herself. The man who used her at the party was not in a position to help her after she became pregnant. He has never been able to support the child adequately, and she has been struggling to support the child.

I am not here saying that it is wrong for a man or woman to have a drink, but only fools abuse alcohol. It was not long ago that a girl, who was celebrating her birthday, told me she wanted to get drunk on her birthday. You did not plan to get drunk, but you did not know when to stop. So you drank and lost control of yourself, and the men you were with evidently didn't have any mercy on you. Now here you are, totally confused and wondering whether it is wrong to terminate your pregnancy. I cannot encourage you to do an abortion. What I can suggest is that you have the baby, and after you have given birth, put up the child for adoption.

Contact the Adoption Board and they will advise you accordingly. I wish you well.

Pastor