Granddaughter bringing man into my home

Dear Pastor,

How are you doing, Pastor? I need to get some advice from you. I am in my 60s.

I lost my husband three years ago, but one of my granddaughters and grandson are living with me. My daughter lives in America and she is doing her best to help me. She pays all my major bills, and she makes sure that I don't owe anybody for anything. We always have food in the house and my grandchildren see to it that I eat.

My granddaughter is 18 years old. She introduced a young man to me and told me that he is her boyfriend. I asked her if her parents know that she has a boyfriend. She told me yes. One day I was talking to her mother and I mentioned the guy. She told me that her daughter told her that she has a male friend, but it is not a serious relationship. My grandson told me that the guy sneaks into the house when I am asleep, goes into her room and sleeps with her. I was upset about that. I told her that I don't appreciate that and it must not happen again. She told me that it would not. Her brother told me that she asked him if he was the one who told me about it and he told her yes.

What is bothering me now is, I had a few dollars that I had put away. It is not much money, just $11,000. I needed to purchase something but couldn't find the money, so I mentioned it to her and she said perhaps I mislaid it. But when everybody had gone out, I searched the whole house but didn't find it. She said she didn't take the money. My grandson said he didn't take it either. I told my granddaughter to mention it to her boyfriend, because he might have seen it and borrowed it. She became very upset and said I was accusing him of stealing my money. I really wasn't accusing him, but the money couldn't just walk away like that.

My grandson wouldn't take that money away. He would come to me and borrow the money. Imagine, my granddaughter stopped talking to me because I suggested that she should ask her boyfriend if he moved the money from where I put it. She stopped talking to me for many days. I told her that if that is the way she was going to behave, she shouldn't allow her boyfriend to come back to the house. So she told him what I said, and for many nights she has not come home. I suspect that wherever he is sleeping, she is there with him. I miss her, she is a very nice girl, but I cannot allow her to be disrespectful to me. Do you think I was wrong to ask her about the money or to tell her that she should quiz him about it?

Pastor, I trust your opinion; just tell me how you feel. Did I do anything wrong?

Grandma

Dear Grandma,

I would like to encourage you to set your heart at ease. You were not accusing this young man of stealing your money.

You were only suggesting that your granddaughter should ask him whether he has seen or taken the money. She considered that you were out of order to think that her boyfriend was a thief. You haven't done anything wrong. This young lady has passed her place, so to speak. She should have been more respectful to you. She is rude. You were not wrong in telling her that she should not expect you to have a man in your house who does not have any respect for you. I hope that she will soon find out that her behaviour is wrong, and that she will beg your pardon and return home. But you should not beg her to return.

Take good care of yourself, madam, and everything will go alright with you. Bye-bye.

Pastor