Got pregnant for the evil man who raped me

Dear Pastor,

How is the weather treating you? I don't like this type of weather; it brings back bad memories to me.

I am 60 years old, but I have never forgotten what happened to me when I was a young girl. I went to stay with some friends and a gentleman came there. I wasn't paying him any attention at all, but he was supposed to be at the house working. It was raining and he had his eyes on me. It was also cold. I didn't know anybody in the neighbourhood except the friends, who had gone to work.

This man sexually abused me. He held me down and threatened me. I felt powerless. He held me down and raped me. He was so aggressive. I did not even get his name. I was so confused. I was a virgin. When my friends came home, I did not tell them anything; I behaved as if everything was alright. This man got me pregnant and I was on my own, so I had his child. I never loved the child; I love my other children.

Whenever I see this type of weather, I remember this ordeal that I went through. It has taken me a long time to respect men or to love them. After being raped, I hated all men. The child I got from this rapist didn't deserve the bad treatment I gave him and it still bothers me. I want to ask you to pray for me. Thank God I became a Christian and got married to a lovely man. Please pray for my son, too, so that I can love him.

I didn't care for him to get an education. I know he does not love me and he doesn't have anything good to say about me, but I can't blame him. I was stupid not to tell the people I was staying with what happened to me, but I don't think they would have believed me.

N.K.

Dear N.K.,

I regret hearing that you were sexually abused and you did not even know the name of the man who sexually abused you.

You were fearful for your life, so you said nothing. Perhaps looking back now, you realised that you made a mistake by remaining silent. I will remember you in prayer as you have requested. I am happy that you became a Christian and that you have got a good husband. God has helped you to deal with your situation. I hope that your son will learn to love you and that you may learn to love him.

Continue to serve God; always put Him first in your life, and be assured of my prayers. Feel free to write to me again; and if you think that you should talk to me, call these numbers: 876-929-1667 or 876-877-1009.

Pastor