Boyfriend got a teenager pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I read your column regularly and I have learnt a lot from it. I am in my 20s.

Sometimes I feel depressed because I cannot get to do what I would like to. I did not do well in school. I wasted a lot of my time, but I can read and write, and I am running my own little business. It is not going very well, but I can still support myself from it.

I have a male friend and we live together; he is trying his best. But sometimes he gives a lot of trouble. He went out and got a young girl pregnant. I was shocked, because this place that we live in belongs to my father and this man doesn't have any place of his own. My boyfriend got a teenager pregnant and my father told me to ask him to leave. I begged for him, so my father said, "OK, he can stay." This thing got me so depressed, but I am getting over it now. I demand more money from him now, but at the same time, I told him that he should support his child.

A few months ago, I called his babymother and asked her if he has been giving her money and she said yes. I encouraged her to go back to school and she said, "Thanks, mom." She is very respectful to me. Sometimes I find myself wanting to punish him by not giving him everything that he wants, including sex. But a friend told me that if I continue to punish him, he might go back to the girl. I don't think he would be so stupid, because if he does, he would find every piece of his clothes outside.

I am not an ugly girl and I give him everything he wants and I treat him right, so I don't see why he had to go to another girl.

F.L.

Dear F.L.,

I am glad that your boyfriend and you are still together. He disappointed you. He made a terrible mistake.

He should have thought that you are a good woman. Even where he is living, he is guided by your parents. Some men don't think about the foolishness that they do. But after they have done nonsense, they beg the women to forgive them. I could understand why you feel depressed occasionally, but try your best to continue to work hard and to support yourself.

You know now that you can't rely on this man for much. Make sure that you encourage him to support his child. I am glad you did not condemn the young woman. I hope that she would indeed go back to school. You are a good woman. Take care of yourself.

Pastor