Boyfriend is terrible with money

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem and I hope you can help me. I am 21 and I have a boyfriend. He is a nice guy, but he does not like to save.

All he wants to do is to run around. He gets his pay and he blows it and then he comes to me and asks me to lend him money. I have stopped giving him my money because he makes $22,000 every week. He lives with his mother and sisters. He told me that he gives his mother money every week and he helps out his sisters by giving them money to do their hair. I told him that his sisters can't do their hair every week.

I want him to go back to school, but that is not in his mind. He is always talking about buying a car. I told him that nothing is wrong with having a car, but he should save and not blow his money. I introduced him to my father and the first thing my father asked him is where he works. When he told him, my father said he needs to go to school and get a better job. Then my father told me that this guy is not somebody to be proud of. I really love him; I don't want to leave him. He is my first boyfriend.

His sisters and I get along very well. I would like to know what I should do about getting him to go back to school. He has good passes. Once, he told me he wanted to be a mechanical engineer, but now he says he has changed his mind. How can I get him to go to school?

J.B.

Dear J.B.,

This young man has his passes, but he has not yet decided to go to school. You do not consider him to be ambitious, because he does not listen to you.

It is time for him to apply to one of the universities and become a student. You cannot push him; you can only encourage him to do so. You want to be proud of your man. The question that I would like to ask is: Does he have the money to go to school? You did not mention money. Does he have anyone to assist him financially? If he doesn't have the money or anyone to help him, he should consider the Students' Loan Bureau. Things have changed, so he would not have to find someone to stand security for him. He is presently working; perhaps he should enrol as a part-time student if the university offers those courses part-time.

Don't give up on him, but do not give him more loans. He will get the message if you stop giving him help. He is making enough to support himself and even his sisters. He should not give them money to go to the hairdresser every week. You can only encourage this young man to plan his life and to get an education, but you can't force him.

Recently I asked a young woman about her boyfriend and she told me that she left him because he is not ambitious. You may have to do that too, but give this young man a little more time.

Pastor