Stuck with caring for my abusive mother

Dear Pastor,

I have found myself as the caregiver for a mother who I detest.

I have never liked her and her behaviour towards me. She has always been abusive in every way since my childhood, and I am at a point where I am repulsed by her. Unfortunately, I am stuck with the responsibility of caring for her despite her abusive ways. I have always been financially supportive in the best way I can. However, I am getting to the point where I do not want anything to do with her. I feel no compassion or love for her. She has been the most destructive force within my family, and her actions have caused many challenges for those around her. She is quick to curse and quote the scripture, and, at times, she throws tantrums and objects when she does not get her way.

I am beginning to have violent thoughts against her, and I know that should she ever put her hands on me again, it will not end well. She presents with almost different personalities, as she is very concerned with her image. I have tried to develop some 'care' towards her, but it is not happening. I realised from a young age that I did not want to be anything like her. She has never been independent, and did not really set any example for what a rounded woman should be. I have tried to get her to see a mental health professional, but according to her, nothing is wrong with her, as she is not "mad". I really do not know how to respect her at all, and these things are eating away at me as it feels as if, in front of persons, she makes it seem as if we get along, yet I cannot stand her.

I ask for your prayers as I navigate this road.

Initials Withheld

Dear Writer,

I am assuming that you have written this letter with a heavy heart. But I want to thank God that you continue to care for your mother.

I know that it takes the grace of God for you to be caring for your mother, who is not thankful for what you have been doing for her. However, I know that God will reward you for the work that you are doing. Perhaps your mother believes that you are obligated to care for her because you are her daughter.

I thank God for you and for giving you the grace to take care of her, because some children wouldn't care at all and would have left her to suffer. You are doing a big job by caring for her and the good Lord will reward you. The Bible says that one should never go weary in doing well, so I beg you to continue to do your very best for your mother.

You have not said anything about your siblings and how you get money to care for your mother. I can only assume that your siblings and others are helping you financially to be your mother's caregiver. You have asked for prayers, and I want to assure you that I will remember you and your mother in prayer. I hope that some of these very scriptures she quotes will speak to her own heart. I pray that if this woman has not yet come to know Jesus intimately, that the Holy Spirit will work in her heart and change her life.

May God continue to give you patience as you serve him as a caregiver to your own mother.

Pastor