My supervisor wants to date me

Dear Pastor,

I am 22 and I am writing you for some advice because I don't have a father who can give me guidance.

My mother doesn't care what I do. She has three daughters and I am the only one who has not got pregnant. I did not know my father until I was 19, and it was my aunt who told me. She told me about him. I tried to find out his number and my aunt gave it to me. When I told my mother that I got his number and I was going to call him, she said that was up to me.

I called my father and he said he heard about me, but he was not sure that I am his daughter. He told me that he would love to meet with me, so we met at National Heroes' Park. My aunt accompanied me and my father accepted me. My aunt told him that he should do a DNA test and he said that would not be necessary. So now, I know my dad, but we are like strangers.

I met a young man in the organisation I am working; he is more educated than I am and also older. I like him, but he has a child with an older woman. I asked him why I should become his girlfriend when he already has a babymother. He said she is only his babymother, but nothing more. I asked him if he is sleeping with her and he said occasionally.

We have never had sex, but I like him and I can't get him out of my mind. I see him every day - he is my supervisor. I don't want to stay in this company because he calls me into his office regularly and we do not discuss the company's business. One or two of the girls in the office told me I need to be careful because if it is known that we are friends, the boss will fire me because he is strict when it comes to employees' getting involved with each other. They said the guy will throw me under the bus because he lies a lot. So, I would like you to tell me how to handle the situation.

He has been asking me to go out with him, but I have not because I am afraid, and I don't want my name to be called. I hope to hear from you.

R.D.

Dear R.D.,

First of all, I am happy to hear that you have met your biological father and your aunt played a big role.

I am also glad that your father has accepted you as his biological daughter. I am sure that there is more to this matter. One of these days, you will find out why he and your mother separated. You have already hinted that your mother is not someone who cares much about family life.

Concerning your co-worker, this man has been showing interest in you, but he has a woman and also has a child with her. I would suggest that you do your very best to keep out of this man's way. He is your supervisor, but he is cunning. The other girls suspect that he wants to be romantically involved with you. They have put you on your guard, so to speak. They can't stop you from doing what you want to do, but they can warn you and even give you advice. If you are not careful, this man will get you fired and you will have only yourself to blame. You say you have not gone anywhere with him; you have not accepted his dates. That is good. Let it remain like that.

A 22-year-old young woman in Jamaica doesn't have to be in a hurry to get married, especially to a man who has an oily tongue and with whom she works. If you don't reject this man, his woman will find out and call you, or come to the office and blast you. Everybody will say "But she only started to work here recently and imagine that, she has found a man already." I don't know how far you have got in school, but I would suggest that you be very careful and try to attend university. Get a solid career.

Remember, men are not running away. You will find a good man.

Pastor