I’m old but not cold - My 73-year-old body needs good loving

Dear Pastor,

I am a 73-year-old woman and I have a problem. At least, I used to think it was a problem, until I discussed my situation with a couple women who are in my age group. Two of them live in senior citizens' homes. Their children are supporting them there. One of them was in nursing for many years. Her husband passed on a few years ago and after he did, her children took the decision to repair the house and to put their mother in a home. She did not object because she was able to sleep as long as she wanted and she is receiving good care.

This woman, along with a couple others, told me that what they miss most of all is not having sex. One told me that she went to see her doctor because she was having a little pain here and there. The doctor examined her and told her that she was physically fit, and all she needed was a man. She considered the doctor out of order, but she knew that he was talking the truth.

I don't want to be mixed up with some of these men, but I recently met an old school friend. We were in university together. One of our colleagues passed on, so we were at his funeral. He told me that his wife has also passed. We were talking about life and the man wouldn't take his eyes off me. When his granddaughter came to pick him up, he gave me his number and asked me to call him, and I did so. I told him that he should come by to see me before he goes back to the United States of America. It is the best thing I ever did. He got to my house at about 4 o'clock. I cooked and we ate together. He surprised me by asking me if we can make love. I consented and I saw stars in the skies. It was what my body needed.

He left for the USA two days days after he visit, and now he wants to come back and spend more time with me. I am afraid to allow him to come and stay with me because I am a church woman. I don't want my church brethren to know that a man is sleeping at my house. He said we are big people and we should do what we want to do. Whatever he got from me, he enjoyed it. I must say, whatever I got from him, I also enjoyed.

What do you suggest, Pastor?

Senior Citizen

Dear Senior Citizen,

Many years ago -- so many that my perspective has since changed from when I was a young counsellor -- I met numerous senior citizens who often expressed a desire to find partners so they could enjoy what I would call senior sex.

I recall mentioning on air that I was on the grounds of my church when a dear lady in her 70s called out to me. She said she needed to speak with me, so I stopped to listen. When I asked how I could assist her, she replied that she wanted me to find her a man. The way she said it made me laugh, to which she responded, 'You laughing, but I am serious!' She then continued, 'Oh, Pastor, the body, the body.'

This senior citizen, without my help, found a man who was much younger than her, and he used to go to her house and have sex with her regularly.

I am saying to you now, although I cannot sanction what you are doing, I fully understand what you are going through. It is common for children to disapprove of their parents entering new relationships later in life. However, parents understand that they need more than just companionship. So, if you and this man have fallen in love and wish to marry, I can only extend my best wishes to both of you.

Pastor