My husband likes to sleep too much

Dear Pastor,

I am 30 and my husband is 41. I am a stay-at-home mom and I have two children.

My husband does construction work. I do not have to work. He earns enough to support the family. I take the children everywhere, including to all school activities. Sometimes my husband is out of town, so he cannot fit in, but he joins us whenever he can. He is a hard-working man who is very loving and caring. I could not want a better man in my life. I had two other men in my life who could not walk in this man's shoes; they were Jamaican. The only thing they were good at was cooking. They loved to cook. The relationships did not last.

I met this man one night when I went to a party. He could sing and dance. He asked me if I had a man and I told him I had just broken up with my boyfriend. He said to me that I am in ''luck''. I was there with a girlfriend, who told me not to make this man get away. So we danced that evening and then he took me home. When we got to my apartment, I asked him if he wanted a "nightcap" and he said yes. I literally dragged him into the apartment and I turned on some music. We drank together and before I knew it, we were laying naked on the floor.

It was not planned for the man to sleep with me, but that is what happened. We slept on the floor until daybreak. I had turn off my phone so nobody could reach me. When we woke up in the morning, it was a Sunday, and I turned on my phone. My girlfriend was checking up on me, so I told her everything was alright and I would get back to her. This man drove 20 miles to get to his house and he got back to see me around 10 p.m. that day. We made love again and he told me that he would marry me. Two weeks later, we got married at city hall. My girlfriend was a witness, and he had one of his friends do the same. His father had passed on and left him a house. That's where we live.

My husband has slowed down quite a bit since we first met, but I try to feed him well and let him take supplements. The children love him. We have been reading your column, so I want to ask you: Why does my husband want to sleep whenever I want to talk to him? Sometimes I get great comfort in talking to him. We hug and fool around and we have sex, but as soon as we have sex, he falls asleep. It is as if he is drunk. Sometimes I shake him and try to get him to keep up and talk to me, but he says I should talk to him in the morning. But in the morning, it is time for him to go to work. Can you tell me why he wants to sleep every time we make love?

My girlfriend said that it is a man thing, and her husband is like that.

C.E.

Dear C.E.,

You are being too hard with your husband. You forget that you are at home. You are working hard, but your husband is working much harder.

I know you are working hard because you have to take care of the children and do house chores, but this man does construction work, so he is exhausted when he gets home. At least he tries his best to make love to you and to satisfy you sexually. I observe that you do not complain about whether he meets your sexual needs. What you want from this man now is to experience the afterglow, but what more can a man do after he has given his best to you in having sex with you? You should allow this man to sleep. You are not to want too much of him. You should not be greedy; and I am sure you want this man to last for a long time.

I am not taking up for him as you might be tempted to say. I am just asking you to be wise. Even when you want to have sex, try and control yourself and let this man sleep as long as he can. You have a good man and you are a good woman, so take care of each other.

Pastor