My wife thinks I might still be cheating

Dear Pastor,

I hope everything is going well with you. I am here in the cold trying my best. We have not forgotten you from the day you put my wife and I together.

Life is not easy for us; we have to work hard. Our children are doing well in school; both are in college. We will come to see you when we are in Jamaica. We plan to visit in August. My wife is still very jealous. Every woman I talk to, she accuses me of having sex with them. I asked how is it that when she talks to her male friends, I don't accuse her of going to bed with them. She said I don't accuse her because I know that she is not doing so, but when I was going with her, I still had other girls. She is not lying, Pastor, but you know when I came to see you, we discussed all these things and you counselled us.

I can't tell you that I have walked the straight and narrow way since I have been married, but my wife has kept me in line and I am still trying my best. She used to call me "hot rod". If I wanted to continue my badness, I could, because one of her friends has thrown herself at me many times. I had to remind her that I do not want to drink from the same cup with her. She was always telling me that she wished she had a man like me and she knows that I take care of my family and her husband is a gambler who never has money. I do not gamble. I can't afford to throw away my money. I put my money on my children. I am trying my best to educate them. My wife is 50 and I am 53. We have bought a house and we have rented one of the rooms to a Jamaican man, and he is a good tenant. We use his rent to help us pay the mortgage.

Sometimes when I look back, I regret that we were not able to buy another house because the time will come when we have to retire and we would not want to depend on our children to support us. Sometimes we are able to listen to you on the radio, but we can't always access the station. When we are coming to Jamaica, we will let you know and we will come by to see you. One of our daughters and probably her fiance is also planning to take the trip with us. Keep up the good work.

S.P.

Dear S.P.,

I am very glad to hear of your progress and especially about your children.

I believe that you are trying; your wife is not completely wrong, because you have admitted that you not have walked the straight and narrow way. So she does not totally trust you. I am not surprised that one of her girlfriends has tried to have an affair with you because women are always looking for good men, and some do not care whether the man is single or married. They think of themselves first and what you can do for them. A wise man must be careful about how he operates. This woman should do her best to get help for her husband, but unfortunately, some men say nothing is wrong with them.

Gambling is a terrible addiction and some gamblers have even gambled their properties away. Some men engage in it to such an extent that they cannot stop. I know someone who gambles every day. Everything he earns, he gambles away. He has not been able to maintain a good job although he has been working for many years. He cannot even pay his fare to visit his homeland. If it had not been for his siblings, he would have been deported already.

Sensible wives would take away the pay cheques from these men. Some who don't gamble are alcoholics and they remain at the bar for hours, and then they get sexually involved with the bartenders and go home drunk. Which intelligent woman would want a drunkard as her husband? Try to behave, my friend. I know you have been trying, but put more effort into it. I look forward to seeing you later this year. Take good care of yourself my friend.

Pastor