I can’t satisfy my girlfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am a man in my 40s, and my girlfriend is 22 years old. I always associate myself with females who are much younger than me, and I used to handle them very well. However, in recent times I have been experiencing problems.

My present girlfriend loves me and I love her very much. Sometimes her mother treats me as her own son. She has three daughters but no son, so she tells me that she sees me not as a son-in-law, but as a son. Every Friday she buys beef to cook beef soup on Saturday and makes sure that she puts away my share. When I leave work, I stop by her house, and she warms up the soup and give it to me. If I feel like going home, I go, but many times I stay with my girlfriend at the house. Nobody dares to ask her why she allows me to stay there with her young daughter.

I make sure I give my mother-in-law money to help her out. If things are tight with her financially, she tells me. I make sure that her light bill is paid. She does not pay for water.

My girlfriend got pregnant for me when we just met, but she lost the baby. I had another girlfriend, but I left her for this girl. She was a very jealous person and was always trying to cause problems between my girlfriend and I. She called me on the phone and told me that it was another man who got my girlfriend pregnant and that she knows the man. The man told her that he gave her money to abort the pregrancy. I was very surprised. I told her to give me the man's name, but she said she didn't want to cause any problem between the man and myself and my girlfriend, so I never got the number.

I felt very confused, so I told my girlfriend's mother about it and she said that she was sure that I was the only man in her daughter's life. For about two weeks I could not eat or sleep well, because I trusted my girlfriend and the thought of her sleeping with another man affected me. However, the doctor who treated my girlfriend told me that my girlfriend did not abort the child, so I feel much better.

My main reason for writing to you is because I am beginning to feel my age. Sometimes when my girlfriend is in the mood, I am unable to really satisfy her. I know I am not doing a good job; I ejaculate too fast, and she hisses her teeth and fuss. I don't know what advice you can give to me.

My girlfriend is doing a course at the HEART/NSTA Trust, and I promised her mother that I would marry her. I want to keep my word. Believe me, I have stopped running around and I am only with this young girl, but I am not the man I used to be.

N.

Dear N.,

I am glad to hear that you have stopped running around. I tell women all the time that regardless of what men do, and how many women they have, the time may come when they run out of steam.

I will never forget talking to a woman in rural Jamaica. She told me that her husband was very wild. She couldn't tame him, but eventually he stopped because he ran out of steam, so to speak. He could not satisfy her, so she got involved with other men and the people in the district started to call her a whore. She admitted that she became very unfaithful to her husband.

Now sir, your problem is that you are suffering from premature ejaculation problems. You have not yet run out of steam, but you remember the days when you were able to control your ejaculation. Perhaps you may need to do certain exercises. You can discuss the options with a sex therapist.

Don't be afraid to marry this young woman. You are very fortunate to have a good mother-in-law. Show her much respect, and continue to help financially.

Pastor