Worried that my wife wants to buy a vibrator

Dear Pastor,

I am a 70-year-old man and my wife is in her 50s. I got married to her after my first wife passed on.

I seriously considered whether I should marry her. My pastor encouraged me to get married because she was visiting me and members of the church were accusing us of fornicating. My children also encouraged me to get married to her, so we did, and everything was going well. But now I am not a strong as I used to be; neither is my erection very hard. I can hardly penetrate my wife, and she is complaining. She has told me that she would not cheat on me, but I must allow her to buy a vibrator. I don't have any problem with that. But on the other hand, I told her that the vibrator will take my place and I don't think that is right. So she asked me which do I prefer: finding another man and disrespecting me, or allowing her to buy a vibrator?

Pastor, what do you think I should do? I have not gone back to see my pastor, because he can't help me. I have enjoyed this woman's company, but I am a little concerned that if I do not allow her to buy her sex toy, she may stray. We have everything to our comfort. What I don't have, my children provide for me.

My wife is still working, and as far as I know she is not cheating. Is anything wrong in buying a vibrator or allowing her to get one for herself? Please, I beg you to give your advice.

S.T.

Dear S.T.,

Sir, I would suggest that your wife and you see a urologist, who would tell you what's going on.

I get the impression that you are not totally impotent. It is just that you are not 'firing' as you used to, and sir, what you are going through comes with age. However, studies have shown that some men are able to have sex in their eighties without a problem. But there are many things a man can do to keep his wife very happy. A doctor once told me that as long as a man has the desire for sex, he can be helped.

Concerning the purchasing of the vibrator, it is not for me to tell you whether you should allow your wife to purchase one or not. It is a decision that both of you are to make. On the Dear Pastor show, we were discussing sex toys and a young Christian called the show and said that she was just coming from church and listening to the show. She said that as a Christian, she has a vibrator and used it all the time when feeling for sex. When she is finished with it, she washes it and puts it away. She added that she didn't care who was hearing her, because one of the great things about the vibrator is that it does not cheat, and she cannot get any disease by using it. So what I am saying, sir, I will not get into your bedroom. Whatever your wife and you decide to do to bring comfort and enjoyment to you, it is your decision.

Always bear in mind that no man can create the sensation that the vibrator will, and that is why some condemn the use of a vibrator. When it is properly used by a woman, she may find that she cannot do without it, and men do not like that.

Pastor