Lied to my landlord that I was married

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 and my boyfriend is 21. I met him in a nightclub. He looked much older than his age.

I never wanted to have a relationship with a younger man, but by the time I realised that I was three years older, the relationship had gone very far. Months later, I told him that I was looking for a place to rent. He told me that he saw a place in the newspaper, so he gave me the address and told me I could check it out. When I called, the landlady told me that it was already rented. This guy was living with his mother and grandmother.

I was attending college in Kingston but I graduated and had to move. I was never a girl who loved going to clubs and other places of entertainment, but I had friends who loved the night life and told me that I have to start living it up; so I went out with them. Once, I tried to disguise myself when I went to a club and saw a man who knew me from I was a teenager. He kept staring at me. He was there with a woman. The lights were not very bright, but he approached me and said that my face looked familiar. I told him that we did not know each other, so he left me alone.

My boyfriend and I decided that we would live together. We found a place and I told the owners that I recently got married and my husband and I were looking for a place. The owners are senior citizens and the gentleman told me that he and his wife were seeking a decent couple to live in the small side of the house; it has two bedrooms, a bathroom and a kitchen. The couple said that their children are living in Canada and all we had to pay for was electricity. The rent was reasonable. I loved the place and I told them that we would take it, but they refused to take any money without seeing my boyfriend. But I told them he was my husband. It was a blatant lie, but we needed a place to live. The only truth we told them was where we were working. We lived there for two years and they never found out that we were not married.

I got a job in America and I told them that we were giving up the house, but we would help them get another tenant. My boyfriend could not join me, so I left him at the house. While I was away, he got involved with another woman and took her to the house. The people were very upset with him and that is when they found out that we were not married because they spoke to him about bringing another woman to their house. They rebuked him and he was upset and told them they should mind their own business because we only lived together. When they contacted me, I apologised and told them that we were desperate in finding a place and that is why we did not tell them the truth.

My boyfriend told me that it was his cousin who was staying with him, not his girlfriend. It hurt me a lot because I bought everything in the house. This guy did not have anything. The problem is, I still love this man. I can't get him out of my mind, so don't bother to say he is dishonest because I should have known better. Both of us are guilty of deceiving this elderly couple. Now this man wants me to marry him in a few months, but I don't know what to do. Please give me your advice.

A.R.

Dear A.R.,

You are guilty of deception and so was this man. Why say you were married to this man when you were not?

When you went to the club and you were told by a man that he knew you, you said no, he was wrong and you didn't know him. So you are not a truthful person either. People like you would steal, commit murder, and then go to court and say that you are not guilty and that every witness is lying.

You are not a good woman, and so right now, if you agree to marry this man, one would say that both of you suit each other. Neither of you can be trusted. However, please remember that lying lips are an abomination to the Lord. You should always learn to speak the truth.

Pastor