My husband refuses to get his prostate checked

Dear Pastor,

I am a 48-year-old woman and my husband is in his 50s. We have been married for eight years.

We have a fairly good relationship. I had a child by this man long before we got married. One day he said that he was ready to tie the knot. I had been ready for a long time, but I did not push him into marrying me because I knew that he loves women and he was always flirting. He said that he was not going to bed with these women but because of the type of work that he does, he had to be nice to them. He runs his own business and most of his clients are women.

I am writing to you because I have spoken to my husband many times about going to the doctor to have his prostate checked. He is always saying that nothing is wrong with him and he does not want any doctor to push his finger in his rectum. I told him that the doctor is not going to play around in his rectum, he will only examine him and determine whether his prostate is too large.

From what I understand, it is a very simple test. By the doctor putting his finger in his rectum, he can feel the prostate gland. To this day, my husband has still not gone to the doctor, but a couple of his friends have been diagnosed with prostate cancer. My husband told me this week that a doctor told him that he should have sexual intercourse as often as he can, which would prevent him from having prostate cancer. Have you ever heard that before? Is that really true?

My husband is an avid reader of your column, so if you encourage him to see a doctor, he probably will. So, please answer me as soon as possible.

G.R.

Dear G.R.,

I am sorry to hear that a couple of your husband's friends have been diagnosed with cancer.

If, however, the cancer was caught in the early stage, it can be treated. But if prostate cancer is not caught early, it can be dangerous. Your husband is not the only male who does not want a doctor to push his or her finger into his rectum, but your husband has to be persuaded to go and see an urologist, who may send him to do a blood test. Would you kindly tell your husband that the PSA blood test is the standard screening test for prostate cancer? And men who are over 40 should have their prostates checked. Checking their prostates and getting treatment early may save their lives.

Concerning what your husband said, that men who have sex frequently will not develop prostate problems, I would have to say that I was once in the company of men and a medical doctor was a part of the group. He told the men that they should have lots of sex and they would not develop prostate cancer. But it appeared to me that he said it in jest. I do not believe that it is wise for any man to ignore doing his test, regardless of how often he has sexual intercourse.

Pastor