Giving my wife bun with her cousin

Dear Pastor,

My wife is spending some time in the US. I am 60 years old, and I am having a problem with that. My wife doesn't seem as if she wants to come back.

Every time I ask her, she doesn't give me a straight answer. We got married five years ago, but her people never liked me because I served some time in prison.

This woman had children before I met her. The men that she had children with never married her. I came in her life. I built my house. I had two girls before I went to prison. They are now big women.

When this woman started to come around me, I had interest in another woman, but the other woman never offered to wash or clean. She was willing to wash, clean and cook.

Because I became a Christian and was going to church and was having sex with her, I decided to get married.

Only the two witnesses went with us to the marriage officer. When she told her children what she had done, they were upset. She has a green card, so she has to spend some time in the US.

Now she is up there and I am here alone. And, Pastor, I can't stay like this. Sometimes I feel for a woman. Last December, she said she was coming and instead of coming, she sent her cousin to clean up the house and to change the curtains.

Then one of my daughters came and saw her. She asked me who she was. I told her she is my wife's cousin. She said to me, "Daddy you going on with things."

I told my daughter nothing was going on, but I was lying. I asked my wife's cousin for some sex and she slept with me three nights for the week she was here.

She wants to come back often because she loves me and she needs the help. I don't know what to do because I have got to love her, Pastor.

She has a boyfriend, but she said he doesn't help her much. I made a mistake by marrying my wife. My daughter suspects that I am having sex with my wife's cousin.

She asked me about her again and I told her that she will come any time I call her. She said, "All right, anything you say".

Whenever she comes by here, there is nothing that she would not do for me. I don't hold back, I give her money to buy anything she wants.

If I had known her before meeting her cousin, I would have married her instead. She is 42 years old. She takes care of my feet. It is the first time anyone has polished my toenails. My wife never did that to me.

Pastor, I am fit. She said I am good as any 20-year-old boy. Whenever I mention my wife's name, she asks me why I am worrying about her.

I miss my wife, but I made a mistake by marrying her and I am asking you for your advice. Please tell me what to do.

G.A.

Dear G.A.,

Your daughter knows exactly what you are doing. The only person you are probably fooling is your wife. The relationship with your wife was not approved by her children, and I suspect that they have been putting pressure on her to leave you. Perhaps they feel that you are an embarrassment to them.

You said that you have been to prison and perhaps your wife's folks don't believe that a man who has been in prison does not deserve a second chance, and that ex-prisoners cannot be reformed and cannot make a good contribution to society. It is unfortunate that they are looking at you as a second-class citizen, so to speak.

Although you say that you are missing your wife, you are probably not eager to have her return, because her cousin is doing a mighty good job on you.

She is not only cleaning, washing and cooking, but she is also making you very happy and satisfying your sexual needs. And it is because she is in your life why you are not overanxious to have your wife return.

The question is, what would you like to do? If you do not wish for this relationship between your wife's cousin and yourself to continue, you should tell her not to return.

Either do your household chores yourself or ask your daughter to assist you, or pay a helper.

I cannot encourage you to have this extramarital affair. I can suggest, however, that you tell your wife that she should make up her mind about what she is doing. It is either she returns to Jamaica and be with you or she sets you free by divorcing you.

But how would that help you? Would you want to marry her cousin if your wife and yourself were to get a divorce?

You are in a difficult situation but you will have to make a decision, and you should do it very soon.

Pastor