My man is not the marrying type

October 13, 2021

Dear Pastor,

Pastor, I have been living with a man for over 15 years. We do not have children together and I do not have any outside children; neither does he.

People in the community believe that we are married. They call me 'Mrs So and So' using his name and I answer but I don't tell them that we are not married. He is a good man to me. We don't even discuss marriage. I am happy with him and he is happy with me. The last time we talked about marriage, he said that many people got married and broke up. I didn't even bother to answer him, and part of the reason why I don't bother him about marriage is because where we are living belongs to the both of us and we have investments together. Anybody who talks to him about business, he tells them they have to talk to me also. Some of my siblings think that I have let down the family by living with this man for so long and I have not tied the knot. This man and I don't even quarrel. There is nothing too good for him to give me but he is not the marrying type. He has never told me so but that is the way he behaves. I did not allow him to get me pregnant when we first started to live together but I think now that I made a mistake. I would have loved to have a couple of children. I am 40 years of age and I can't bother getting pregnant now.


Dear V.M.,

You and your gentleman should consider adopting a child but you should not give up on marriage. Perhaps you need to have one of his siblings talk to him about that. But don't push him. You don't want to break up an excellent relationship, and that is how I see it.


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