I was my father’s hidden child ... - Now I’m left out of his will

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you with tears in my eyes. I am 30 years old and I have two brothers and a sister. I am an outside child. My father had an affair with my mother. All his other children are with his wife.

I do not carry my father's surname, but he supported me. When his wife found out about me, I was about 10 years old. The discovery almost caused them to break up. She threatened my father that she would expose him, because he was a man in high office.

My mother was very quiet about the situation. When she was asked by her friends if I am this man's child, she told them no. This man never left my mother. He took care of my mother and me. He bought my mother a house and he helped her to purchase a car. He supported me throughout high school and college.

My sister didn't talk to me much, but my brothers accepted me and called me. When I was 16 years old, both of them came to my birthday party. I love my brothers. My mother told me that people used to tell her that I resemble my father, although she told them that I am not his child. Because of my father's influence, I went to college in the US and while there, I met a man and we fell in love, and we are now married.

When I first met this man I lied to him. I told him that I didn't know my father, but when the relationship got stronger, I had to tell the man that I know my father but I do not carry his name. I told him that that was a Jamaican thing. I told him that many children who are born out of wedlock do not carry their father's surname, so he did not question me any more about that.

When we were about to get married, he asked me whether I was going to invite my father and I told him no. My mother came to the wedding. I spoke to my father on the phone and he spoke to my husband. When my father became ill and was hospitalised, I went to the hospital to visit him and was told that only relatives could see him. I told the nurse that I am his daughter and she allowed me to see him. When my father saw me, I kissed him on his cheek and he cried.

I love my father very much and I love my mother even more, because she was very wise in protecting my dad. My father left me cash, but did not give me any of his properties.

One of my brothers has a child and the little boy calls me aunty. They are now living in the United States of America like me. My mother told me that I should not hold anything against my father because he didn't give me part of the land he owns, because he gave her a home and gave me an education. Sometimes I think that I should contest his will, but I have been advised not to do so. What do you think, Pastor?

H.

Dear H.,

You have a very wise mother. She played her cards very well. She was not a fool. She got involved with a married man and as a result, you were born.

Your mother protected him and he was faithful in supporting you, not just by giving you your daily bread, so to speak, but he sent you to school. He educated you and you must have been proud of him.

And not only did he educate you, he provided shelter for you and your mother.

Oh, yes, I know that she lied by saying you were not this man's daughter, but anybody looking at the situation would know that she had to protect you and protect him by not admitting that you were his child.

I am glad that you have got married. When this man died, he left you some cash. You were careful not to tell me how much, but I am assuming it was something substantial.

Leave the man's will alone. Don't listen to anyone who told you to challenge it. Be thankful for what you got. Take care of your mother and be a good wife to your husband. I wish you the very best in life.

Pastor